Recently I heard an expression which I have subsequently adopted as my mantra, "If you don't believe in miracles just remember you are one." The effect on me has been quite profound and fills me with a sense of wonderment.
We often forget that we are each indeed a miracle. A miracle of life. For my adoptive parents I was also their miracle at a time when they were unable to conceive naturally. It was a time for them to grieve the loss of their potential to be natural parents and yet their miracle was that they could still be parents and share their lives with a child. So a double whammy miracle.
As an adopted child I bought a sense of joy to my adoptive parents who could have been left childless and sad. My life as a small child was one where I felt safe, protected and loved. I was carefree as many children are and I never imagined the impact I would have on the people who called me their own. They worried and fretted about me just as any natural parents would. I grew up knowing I was adopted but as a small child didn't really comprehend what that actually meant. I knew about adopting puppies and wasn't quite sure if it was the same thing or not.
Fast forward 50 years and I now have a deeper understanding of what it means to be an adopted person. I have got to know myself much better and in searching and making sense of adoption I have come to understand both how my adoptive parents saw me and how I have grown to understand and accept myself as a miracle.
Adoption to me means travelling an incredible and at times challenging journey. It is a journey that is not on any map or in any guide book. It is a voyage of self discovery and a journey that brings with it ever changing landscapes. It is only when I sit and think about my adoption that I can see how incredible and miraculous it was for my adoptive parents and for me. What joy they must have felt to be able to eventually fulfil their need to be parents, to be my parents. Looking back I have no idea what life would have been like in any other circumstance, with any other parents. I am who I am because of both my genetic makeup and the circumstance of my family life growing up. I am a miracle.